Tuesday, July 26, 2011

The magic mirror - Part IV (LAST PART)

Meera had already divided the world into two zones. Her mom was on one side and the whole world on the other. She reached home and went straight into her room. Her mom had smelt something wrong at the silent entry of her. She went inside her room and asked her," Whats wrong beta? Did you have a bad day? Did your teachers say something to you?" Meera's mom had sat beside her in the bed. Meera crawled a little bit to reach her mother's knee and grabbed her tightly and said,"You are the only one who cares for me."
"Did you fight or quarrel with Yashu?"
"Don't say her name mom. She is a lier. I hate her"
"But what did she do? What lie did she tell?"
"She lied that she can't copy notes for me because she was busy. She lied that she won't come tomorrow because of studies. She doesn't want to help me. She could have told me instead of lying."
"But how do you know that she was lying. It may be that she was telling the truth.'
"I know. I can read faces. Mom I only believe you. I feel sorry for you. Dad too lies. You know that right? Do you really feel he is late every night because of meetings? Do you really feel that he will go to Bangalore for work?"
"Are you out of your mind? Why are you saying so? Of course he will be going for work. Who told you that he is lying?"

Meera remained silent for a while. She could not tell about the mirror and she did not have a proof of her saying. She was in a helpless state. "I need little rest mom. I don't want to go to tuition today. Please let me sleep."
"Okay. But tell me what's wrong. I feel you are not sharing something with me."
"No mom, its okay. I need rest."
Her mom leaved her alone and went outside. But she had too many doubts because of her daughter's not so ordinary behaviour. Meera had never acquired courage to face her father and today she was telling him a lier. She must have heard something or seen something. Meera won't just state something based on imagination. Her mom began thinking but could find no answers. She decided to ask her dad directly.

Her dad had come from the office at 10:30 pm. Meera had her dinner but was awake. After getting fresh and before serving her mom asked her," Are you going to Bangalore for office work?"
Surprised at the instantly asked question he raised his eyebrows and said,"Yes why?"
"Are you sure you are not doing anything wrong or are you hiding something?"
His father was really surprised this time but kept silent for a while and then added,"Why are you asking all this questions? Do you doubt me?"
"I don't have the intelligence to doubt you. I never demanded anything from you, nor I will. But your daughter does think you are a lier. She is growing up and maybe she is intelligent enough to catch lies."

He just stood up from the chair and went to Meera's room. But Meera was not there. Meera came out from the veranda. Seeing her , he asked,"What am I hearing Meera?"
"What's this dad?",Meera quite confidently handed him his mobile. She had opened the 'sent messages'.
"Why did you touch my mobile? When did you get it?"
"I took it when you went to the bathroom. Now you say that are you really going for work?"

Meera had never talked to her father like that. Today she was not at all afraid of him. She had no respect for him. She did not care what he thought. Her father turned silent and sat on the sofa next to the door. Meera's mom was curious about the sms. She took the mobile from his hand and read that message.
It said,"We would reach Bangalore on 16th. The flight will reach at 7pm. Everything will be fine and don't worry about Sailesh. I have taken off from my work for those days."
The message was sent to "Shrutiji" as the name in the mobile indicated. Her mom's gesture was that of demanding an explanation for the lie. The lie had been caught. They were eagerly waiting for his reply. He had covered his face with his palm for so long. Finally the silence broke. He rubbed his face and said the words which came with an echoic effect to the ears. He said," Sailesh and Shruti are Yashoda's parents. I am going to Bangalore with them. Yashoda has cancer. Her treatment was going on from one month and she had been undertaking chemotherapy since then. But these are costly and Sailesh can't afford all this alone. I am helping him financially. She needs a blood replacement too. Her blood group is rare but fortunately matches with mine. They have some relatives too in Bangalore who want to do the treatment from there. So they would get an extra financial help. Yashoda did not want to tell Meera about this and requested me over the phone to keep it a secret as Meera would be sad after knowing that. I did not want you to know also because you will get hurt."

The room had pin drop silence. Meera ran to her room. She cried holding the green mirror and said," You are not a judge. You are only a device. You don't know the truth. The truth is lies are not always lies. I don't need you. I will leave you from where you came." Meera dialled Yashoda's number just to say her that she loves her a lot.

Monday, July 25, 2011

The magic mirror - Part III

Meera had got a great gift from God. She will be able to catch any lie told to her. She was so happy today. A lot of planning and ideas came across her mind. She would carry it everywhere and thus she would be able to justify all the people around her.
"The only thing that I have to keep in mind is that I can never disclose this to anyone." She had hardly studied that evening. Somehow she did a part of her maths exercise and started floating in the sea of imagination. She couldn't wait till anything exciting to happen. Meanwhile she had also told the mirror some truths and some lies to see and enjoy the colour change.

Her dad had come from the office late as usual and she was still awake due to the excitement of her new powerful mirror. She was lying on the bed with the room lights off and the mirror was on the study table. She could see right from her bed. She could hear the sound of the food plates clattering. She knew her mom was serving rotis and bhindi sabji to her father that she had an hour ago. Her father did not like to talk much while eating. Her mom was asking something in a low tone when he had finished dinner which she could not hear. But she could hear the reply from her dad,"Yes there was a meeting. So I got late. Next week I have to go to Bangalore for 5 days for office work."
The mirror inside her room changed the colour from green to red and she could understand that it was a lie. Several queries aroused. "What was the reason for that lie? then does that means he lies often. But my mom never says anything to him or does not even question him much. Then why will he lie?"

She was never close to her father. She feared him but had lot of respect for him. She did understand that he was not so close to her mom too but somehow she felt that he would be honest. She went a little more far today. A bit of hatred had dissolved in the distance.Those questions kept her busy for two hours more and finally she slept. She dreamt of many things and many events that she did not remember the next morning. However she remembered that she was the ultimate judge and the one and only law. She was the decider of justice for the whole universe. She was " THE LADY OF JUSTICE"

Next morning she was ready for the school. Her mom was super surprised to see her daughter so serious about school. She did almost everything herself. She had packed her bag and first of all took the mirror in the front bag. She decided to tell the other friends the same story that she told mom. But instead of Yashoda she will tell them that her dad had gifted it to her. No one will ask further questions then. She went to school and and entered her class to find all the other classmates busy playing and chatting and making noises. This continues till the teacher enters the class. She was eagerly waiting for Yashoda to come whom she had missed a lot this two days but unfortunately she can't share the full secret of the mirror. However she was eager to show her the gift. Yashoda had come and sat beside her with a graceful smile. She had missed Meera too. In the first four periods she did not have the time to show or tell her anything as the teachers came one by one and continued teaching for the full periods. However she had kept an eye on the front chamber of her bag from where a shade of the border could be seen. Yashoda felt a little awkward as she could find something suspicious. She could feel that Meera was looking at her bag quite often. But she too did not have the chance to ask her. In the tiffin break the wait was over. Meera told her about the roadside mirror and how she had lied to her mother about Yashoda and also said that it changed colour. But the reason was unknown to her. 'May be some chemical is present inide the borders but we can't ask or tell anyone about it. My mother knows that you have gifted it and the rest should know that my dad gifted it. We have to say this to avoid further queries." Yashoda did understand what she meant and promised to keep mum. Meera however did not want her to see a lot of the mirror lest she would find the secret. So she kept in the front side of the bag again and only a part of it peeped outside. She was enjoying testing people by questioning them like " Tanya do you have an extra pencil? Mine just dropped somewhere" to which the Tanya replied," No I'm sorry. I dont have." The colour changed to red and she found out that she was selfish. Meera said that," You better say you won't give. Don't lie". Her confident remark made Tanya silent. Each time before testing she would say ' I love my mom' to activate the green colour. The whole day was fun. She knew the people who only came in time of need but never ever tried to help if they could. Meera  requests Yashoda sometimes to do her homework or copy some notes for her to which she never hesitated. Last week too she had given her some work. Yashoda never said "no" to anything.

Yashoda before bidding her good bye said to her," Hey Meera, I won't come tomorrow. And I could not copy the notes you gave me. I became busy this weekend"
'Thats okay but Yesterday you were absent and again tomorrow...  you know how the day passes without you."
"Yah, I know but I can't come tomorrow. I have to study. The exams are near also" she had gone saying this words.
Meera felt something fishy and looked at the front side of her bag to find the borders changing to red. She got a setback today. The issue was not so big but she never expected this from Yashoda. She could have told Meera if she did not like to copy notes for her. She only asked this favour because she thought they were best friends.

Meera realised that her dreams and thoughts were turning wrong. Instead of catching lies and being the judge she was becoming the most lonely person. Her beliefs were also changing like the colour of the mirror. She realised it was not cute but a dangerous gift. It was more than a judging gadget. It was a distance maker. But somehow she had realised the true colour of people. Its better to live without them than to be with liers. Believing someone is the most foolish act. She wont believe anyone from now.

                                                                                           to be continued....

Sunday, July 24, 2011

The magic mirror - Part II

Meera reached home and unlike other days she kept her bag slowly on the floor and called out her mom , " See what I have brought mom. Yashoda gave me this mirror as a present. Just see ." Her mom came out of the kitchen to have a look and enquired ," what for?". Meera added an extra smile and said," My birthday is coming. So she gifted me in advance."
The red bordered mirror was in her hand and she was too busy to look at her mom's face. She also knew looking at her mom would only cause her trouble because her mom knows her the best and maybe she will catch her by looking at her eyes. So she preferred looking at the new gift. She was also hungry and asked her mom what she was cooking. "Pasta." was the short reply to which Meera's mouth watered. She really wanted to have pasta. Her mom really knew her the best.
But now the thing that happened made Meera speechless and blank for a while. The border of the mirror was green again. She could not understand what was happening. She is now sure that this can't be a mistake of her eyes anymore. The mirror is not an ordinary one. It changes colour. But what reason can be that. She can't even ask her mom as she would cross question her and find out the truth. She took it and ran inside her room and locked the door. She was asking a hundred questions to herself to which she did not know the answer and now she had to answer her mom if she asked. Her mom would definitely ask about the change of colour and she did not know what to say. She murmured to herself,"I will tell mom the truth that I have found it beside the park."
"No, no I can't. She won't allow such things in the house and I will lose this mirror. I will say it has got chemicals inside the border which changes randomly."
"But will she believe me? What if she asks Yashoda about this? "
"I will definitely tell Yashoda about this lie and she would never dissapoint me. I think she will support me. She is my best friend. I would have helped her if she was in my position." The colour kept on changing at the end of her each thought.

Her mom started calling out her name. The pasta was ready. " See this girl. Till now she was shouting she was hungry and now see no sign of her. Meera..Meera... where are you? Come the food will get cold. Afterwards don't say that its cold and you won't have it."

She came out of her room took the plate went inside the room and locked that again. Meera started thinking what to do with this mirror and how to make up a story. She was also curious to know the exact reason of colour change. Her mom asked from outside the room," Are you having your food?" In a hurry she said, "Yes mom. Its good. Almost finished."

The colour again changed from green to red. She realised something. Her eyebrows got higher. She could not believe what she had realised. But if that is true then it would definitely change her life. With every true statement the colour of the border turns green and with every false or lie it turns red. It was like the litmus test. She told few truths and some wierd lies in a random manner to test the colour change. Every time her logic turned positive and correct. She also decided that this secret can never be disclosed to anyone. Not even Yashoda. She will only tell Yashoda to nod her head if her mom asks her about the gift.

She was the happiest girl today on earth. She danced with joy and din't know how to express her happiness. She took it and went to her mom. She asked her mom," Mom do you love me?"
She was busy working and without even turning she said," Why are you asking me this? Don't you have homework. Now go all this won't help you delaying your study."
"No mom, I would just go and do my home work. But just say that you love me."
"Yes beta, I love you a lot."
The mirror turned green. Her mom too turned to see her daughter. She found the mirror in her hand and a big smile in her face. "I remember that it was red last time. Did she gift you two mirrors?"
Meera had understood the logic of its working and knew that a "yes" will change the colour and she would be proved lier. So she cleverly replied." No mom , it changes colour normally. It has got a chemical inside and colour keeps on changing." The colour turned red with the lie and she said," See , I told you."

" I don't understand why this gifts are necessary. It must be expensive. Now don't waste time here and go to study."Meera merrily ran to her room. She really got the biggest gift today. May be not from Yashoda but from God.

                                                                                                 to be continued................

The magic mirror - Part I

Its a story about a small girl named Meera who lived in Chennai. She studied in class 9 and was 15yrs of age. She had many friends or I must say classmates because only Yashoda was her best buddy and only well wisher she thinks. All others came only in times of need. She was a little lazy and wanted to lead a different life than others. She had heard so many stories about princesses from her grandmother. But she misses her a lot. She only wishes that her granny would have been alive and told her more fairy stories with which she would associate herself. She always preferred to switch herself off from this practical and selfish world. She just feels and wishes that God would have given her a special power so that she could have lead a different life. She hated going to school and she hated studies because they forced her to think the way the world thinks.
"Oh God, are you still in bed Meera? cum'on get up. You are already getting late for your school?", her mother forcibly dragged her a bit.
"Mom, I am not feeling well. There are no good periods today. Let me sleep. I will go school tomorrow." , rubbing her eyes and making gloomy faces Meera said.
"I am not going to take all this all over again. I don't like to repeat lectures every morning. Now just get up and get ready for school quickly otherwise I will tell your dad and you will see in the evening.", she went away to fetch a glass of milk being quite sure that reference of her dad will surely end the fruitlss conversation.
Meera with that same gloomy face got up and said," You don't love me Mom. Nobody does. Only my granny would understand me."
But these words were only heard by the wall. She got fresh and quite reluctantly started getting ready for her school. She arranged her books making unpleasant and unnecessary noises. These were the signs of protest that her mother would understand but never showed she did. Her mom brought the glass of milk for her and with a smiling face she gave to her and said,"Thats my girl. My sweet beti. Drink that quickly and go to school."
While drinking the milk she complained in a low tone,"Why do you always send me school? Don't you like me around?"
Her mom was silent for a bit long and then she said, " You are my jaan beti. But if you dont go to school much, you will end your life like the way I am doing now. You will never be independent and lead a life on someone else's shoulders. You will understand all this when you become of my age."
Meera waved her hands and bid good bye to her mother. She partly did understand what her mother said and she had heard that a lot from her mother in the past too. Whenever Meera complains her of being strict or sending her school she would say those words and that would leave Meera speechless and she would have no other options but t follow her words. She knew that her mother had a tough life. Her mom would do all duties of a homemaker and would never ask her dad for something and her dad would be busy in his work. He never ever felt the necessity to ask her instead, of her well being. He thought food clothes , house and her daughter would suffice and she can not have any thing left to demand.But Meera's mom never complained of what she got. Her dad was quite strict and from the very childhood Meera feared him a lot. This was a blessing in disguise because her mom used this as a weapon to make things done. But she never came close to dad and never felt the need also. Her granny and mom were enough for her. Her dad would return from his office while she would be off to bed. Only her mom would wait for him, serve him food, eat herself and go to bed. So she did understand what her mom meant when she said those words.
But whenever she reaches school and spends the day in the building the effect of those words fades away and her own sufferings becomes bold lettered and of big fonts. She knows how she passes her time among the classmates and books and studies. Either they are too studious and talk nothing except studies or they are a bunch of hooligans running and jumping over the benches. Hardly she would find anyone except Yashoda with whom she can share her thoughts. But if Yashoda is absent her life becomes hell for that day. So she makes up stories and doesn't want to come to school when Yashoda is absent. Meera knew that Yashoda will not come today. So she was reluctant to come to school. She had the taste of ultimate boredom and punishment before. The teachers are supposed to teach and not discuss imaginations. They would only talk of homework and classwork. Meera can not concentrate for long. She would start taking notes but after writing 2 paragraphs she would be unable to keep up with the pace of the dictation and even while reading session she would suddenly realise she did not concentrate for a long time. She neither had the courage to tell her teacher or the brains to understand the rest part without hearing the last two pages and missing a subsequent part of the text.
Her school was over for the day. After a hectic unpaid tough work schedule she was going back home. She although loved this part. Going back home from the hell was sight of delight. She would walk a long way not taking the short cut. She would see the sky, the trees, the flowers, the birds, take the school bag in one hand and dance to the nature's music. This was the time when nobody told her what to do, how to do. nobody gave her homework for that. She would pick up things from the road beside the park and watch the people watching her enjoying life like a fairy. Today she was coming down the lane beside the park when her eyes came across something shining. She felt curious. She has a habit of collecting unique things at least the things she feels unique. She has a brown wooden box full of these precious collectibles which includes feathers, petals, designed broken pencil, shells, different coloured and various shaped buttons, used syringe, small barbie comb etc. But today she had come across something really precious may be. May be it would definitely increase her popularity as the proud owner of the Z BOX (as she would say). She went little closer to the place the shine came from. It was a mirror lying beneath the guava tree. The rays of light had fallen on the mirror and so it was shining. At first she thought that may be it was broken so it had been disposed by someone. But as she came closer she found it intact. It was a beautiful little mirror with shades of white and green in its border. 70 percent of her little face cam be seen in that and for the rest she has to tilt it a bit. She saw her face in that and before picking it up watched herself nicely. She had never watched herself so long in the mirror she had in her home which covered her whole body. But this was something cute and most importantly she found it so it belonged to her.
She picked up the mirror and gently rubbed her hands against the surface. The green border had a shining texture too. She told herself," This would not fix in my Z BOX. But where can I keep this thing. Mom would be angry if she finds out that I have picked it up from the street. She always does."
Again she told herself after a small pause," But all the previous things were not so beautiful like this. May be mom won't say anything if I told her the truth. But no, I can't take a chance. What if mom snatches it from me. I would say that its a birthday gift from Yashoda. She had wished me and gave me this two months before my birthday. Oh making up stories are so interesting."
"Did I see that right? The borders are not green. Its red. But I feel they were green before or had I seen that wrong. Whatever the mirror is too beautiful to leave. I don't mind getting a scolding if I am caught for this."
She put the mirror in the front side of the bag and said," I love my mom". A part of the green bordered mirror was shining brightly while she hopped down the street back to her home.

Saturday, July 23, 2011

The divorce letter

The Divorce letter

Dear husband,

I'm writing this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've
been a good woman to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been hell.

Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the
last straw. Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new
haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of
silk dress. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after
watching all of your games. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you
don't want anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you are
cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm

Your EX-Wife.

P.S. Don't try to find me. Your BROTHER & I are moving away to West
Virginia together! Have a great life!

The Reply

Dear Ex-Wife

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.

It's true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good woman
is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my games so much because
they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn't
work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing
that came to mind was 'You look just like a boy!' Since my mother raised
me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't
comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me
confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago.
About those new silk dress: I turned away from you because the $49.99
price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my
brother had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.

After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So
when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2
tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens
for a reason, I guess.

I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said
that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me.

So take care.

Your Ex-Husband, Rich As Hell & Free!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my brother Carl was born
as Carla (woman). I hope that's not a problem.


courtesy : An email from a friend.

Kiran Rao - the BRILLIANT

Lately I watched 2 movies directed by her. Both were at their bests. One was "Dhobi Ghaat" and the other " Delhi Belly".
The common USP of the movies were that both were a 95 min movie with no interval, and if you watch the films you will definitely not find the necessity of that.

Dhobi ghaat on one hand was quite a serious movie with hardly loud dialogues. All it had as a weapon was the feelings and the reactions. It gave the movie a soft touch like that of an artist to his nearly finished painting. It showed how without even saying something feelings can be told. It had so many shades of a character that the canvas turns into a 3D. Dhobi Ghaat is one place in Mumbai where all the people of different cultures and society become naked and the actual truth is clearly visible. Its the main connection point from where the stories begin and where it ends. The Dhobi is one character who visits the house of all the characters living different lives and therefore brings in a connection to the different events happening in the fast city. All this is untold in the movie and it has to be felt only.

REACTION OF AUDIENCE : It was shooted for a targeted audience because people really don't have the patience to view an almost silent movie with less music , no songs , no action but only some clippings from where you have to figure out a whole thing using brains. It required a lot of patience and concentration and understanding which normal audience lacks.

Delhi Belly was a full on comedy movie. The people who had watched her first movie would have never expected this from her. This was a complete different aspect where language knew no bar. Its filled with slangs and showed the almost real picture of the youth.

REACTION OF AUDIENCE : It declared caution for the viewing of the children and for those who are not very comfortable with the slangs. It had drawn a huge audience specially the youth. There had been many comedy movies in the past but surely comedy at its best and the real picture of today's youth had never been so boldly displayed.

Kiran Rao had proved herself in both her movies. She had shown what she is capable of and she is at her best in almost every genre of a movie. Atleast I am eagerly waiting for her next movie which I am sure will be of a different taste and perfection. So can we call her rightly Mrs PERFECTIONIST?
I guess we can.

Friday, July 22, 2011

Euthanasia for pets

Do you believe in the term "euthanasia"? For those who don't know the meaning, lemme just tell you that its a term for mercy killing. Recently in a bollywood movie "GUZAARISH" the lead character played by Hrithik Roshan was suffering  miserable paralysed life and demanded euthanasia. There is a debate whether it is at all needed or its unnecessary. I don't want to go in the argument but I feel that the person who suffers knows the best and the choice should be in his hands.

But for the pets they don't know our language and we don't know theirs. But I have seen or heard a lot of them dying gradually after suffering for so many days. They become like family members and the only difference is that they are of different species but the pain is same. I sometimes feel that if they could speak they would have asked for euthanasia.

Now again several questions arises - whether it is logical , is legal etc etc. Its hard for the master to kill his pet who has become like his son. But me in the place of the master could and would have. I believe I am an emotional person but when it comes to pain and suffering of a life, I feel that ending it in one go is far better than gradually letting its condition decay. I may be don't have the right to give or take a life but I have the right to free someone from the suffering and pain to which there is no cure.


Starting when its gonna END

Life had always showed me a way and finally sometimes I have realised that I can't follow and go through. Many a times I have felt that when there is an end life showed me a new light and whenever there is a new way there is a big rock blocking the entry. I am a person interested in many things , have loads of interests and passions. I feel like pursuing them and I have done that a lot but I am not really sure about my timing.

Another major problem with me is I can't continue a thing for long. I am too moody and my interests keep on changing. Its not that they end forever but it goes in a coma. They will come back but when that is unknown. I have started blogging long back but it had been a discontinuous process for me. I have made friends with similar interests and in the long run they have disappeared or rather I have.

I am trying to make a comeback again but this time the timing is wrong again. I would be joining a ship in a few days and may be this practice will again get discontinued and when I return after several months I don't know whether I would blog again or if I do then when I would do that is unknown to me.

I am the kind of river which doesn't know which way it would flow after a few hours. It flows with a definite speed but direction is uncertain. This is me and it will be like this I suppose. Kindly excuse this negative part of my character. Being an author of a little blog I feel its injustice to all my readers but I apologise sincerely from my heart...

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Silence and the city

An absolute silence engulfs me
An absolute darkness everywhere

Sitting alone by the sea shore
and the setting sun leaves no light
All alone by the shore but no place to hide

Even the roars of the waves seems to be mute
All comes in the ear is a complete silence

No one to call , nowhere to go
All alone in the midst of the journey

Who says life is to short to live
Its just a matter of time
Time to crash apart in the rocks and
Get pulled back from where it came

Life onboard

The professional life has its own discipline and decorum. You have to follow those even if u dont like them just like ur frst school days... You have ur own time adjusted wd the places u visit.. the clock as if is a slave to the master. He announces and u retard or forward the hands of the clock.

Dining wd the officers is sumthing I only saw in movies..You dont make noises wd spoons and plates and eat as silently as u can... Even having a bowl of soup has its own ettiquecy...

In the room there is an absolute silence. Be it a day or night  u can hear the tick tock of the clock and the phone which rings sounds like a death alarm.. It rings ..... ur lyf becomes hell...It is a call from ur senior..u wear ur uniform and run to ur workplace....in case of emergencies u cant even be selfish enuf to ask fr food... all the ppl around are working hard

The only place u have to shout on top of ur voices or else u wont be heard.. Its the ENGINE ROOM..and the most fabulous and heavenly space in the engine room for us is jus beneath the blowers.. U find a miraculous comfort to ur full sweaty body..It jus takes away all ur pain and sufferings.... so u also learn modulations of voices.... learning how to shout and how to keep as silent as dead

The adjustments to temperatures are the best quality we have.. In the engine room u may have to bear 55 degrees and ur cabin is centrally cooled so its around 22-25...



Wednesday, June 29, 2011


That awkward heading means Certificate Of Competency. In a layman’s language it is simply a license – a license to sail as a fourth and a third engineer in the ship. You have to get it by giving 10 exams or rather crossing big 10 hurdles. Each one more difficult than making 10 girls love you. Well so it implies that it was too different than getting a four wheeler driving license. It took just one and a half year for me to cross all this shit and finally I applied and got my COC in hand. But the process was long enough and too boring to discuss. The boring stuff got added due to the involvement of the ‘too busy in doing nothing’ kind of the Govt. employees. I cracked all the 6 written in one shot and just like the rabbit slept thinking there is a lot of time till the tortoise comes, I had gained a lot of over confidence which led my life to an important learning. I got my orals like a small child takes his unwanted daily food. One oral got cleared in the first month then another after two months and finally a wash out after another 2 months. That final shock came as an emergency alarm when I found the next date for my rest 2 orals were after four months and I had nothing to do.

However one day you pass and you have to. So I passed one day and that day I believe my enemies had also prayed for me. The day I passed reminded me of the movie ‘THE PURSUIT OF HAPPYNESS’.

It has been around 7 months I have submitted my documents and COC details to my company. But when bad things happen they happen together. Like all the unwanted guests are invited on the same day. The market condition is too bad to imagine. At least I did not pass out this year from my college because the junior engineers are not even getting job and the fourth engineers are told to join as senior 5th. The only thing that itches me is that sometimes your parents think you are the sole responsible guy for the market and you should have born some time before.
Life had played a filthy joke with me. I don’t know why I had suffered so long and what wrong deeds I had. I had a tremendous last 1.5 yrs in which I had lost and lost and struggled like the tiny ant in a glass of water. I don’t know how long this suffering would continue. Sometimes I feel that God had blindfolded himself and can’t see my sufferings.

It had been around 7 months that I am sitting idle in my home and helplessly trying to go aboard ship. First of all the last 3 exams gave me so much trouble which I had never thought of after clearing 7 exams in one shot including all my written papers. After clearing all exams and getting my COC , I have waited a contract period in my home which is unbelievable.


Monday, June 13, 2011

LATITUDE ( 16th jan 2011)

Recently I watched a hell lot of movies. When it starts it starts with a boom I guess. Yesterday I went to Ajanta theatre along with some of my friends. We watched Rituporno’s Aro ekti premer golpo. I have laughed at him previously at several occasions when I watched him in interviews and in the T.V but yesterday I realized that he is a masterpiece, a genius. Love is for all. It really knows no bound but sometimes we pay a price due to the boundaries of age, caste, religion and even sex(in this film).

The title of this note is the question asked by Dipankar Dey in the movie ‘ Abohoman’. ‘What is latitude’, he asked to which his son Jishu gave a geographical answer about imaginary horizontal lines separating the earth into several zones. He corrected the question, ‘in films?’. Jishu had no answer. He told that latitude is the range of distance. Now why I named my note on that is a question that may arise. Well latitude in films that is reel life is somewhat connected to my real life too. Considering the several imaginary lines dividing my heart into various zones, I can say that each location has its own identity. But the special areas deep inside are bordered by dark black bold lines which the heart often recalls. We try and capture a beautiful scenary by adjusting the power of the camera and finally realize that if the angle would have been different and perception changed then may be the captured film would have been better. Even though it is not bad but there are chances it would have been better. But reel is finished and you know you have to pack up. I guess everyone could see their latitude in every one’s heart. The fact would have caused trouble and would have blessed many. Many would hide and run and many would stand with smile.

But I really don’t need that latitude meter. Its just a wild thought that came in my mind. I am good enough to express you my feelings and express myself what you feel. Just help me in directing this wonderful film and leave me no regrets about shooting in a different prospective altogether.

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