Wednesday, July 11, 2018


What do you call that feeling when you are about to leave your house for an important work and it starts raining heavily. Say it . Irritating right ? All again you undress into homely wear and keep the assorted things you planned to take with you in their right places and all you can do is wait... Wait till it's dry again.

Same happens with me... With a feeling that I have been born with a cursed luck , I curse myself for planning for the job wrongly when literally it's just the nature to be blamed. I look through the windows to estimate the intensity of the rain and possibility of my going out and then finally lying back in despair. The work has to be postponed and it's a tough job to reschedule as other things get affected to.. and what if it rains again the next day..

It feels me with irritation and I start wishing that why it never rains when I had nothing to do.. It rains only when I have some work.

But then I feel how often do I watch the rains even when I was in home. So today I thought there was nothing better to do right at this moment. The streets filled with water , the trees looked greener, the sky changed it's vibrance. The small kids returning from their schools had no irritation like me.. They stamped on the water playfully , fully drenched and without caring about their wet bags and books busy kick spraying water on their fellowmates. They should be pissed off after so long hours of school but shockingly they were not. Then why is it me nagging without even being wet by a single drop. Why didn't I feel the same like those kids. What has changed me ?

I asked these questions to myself and seeked for answers. I see many people enjoying rain special dishes and pakoras.. I see them making plans even in this weather. I see people getting romantic , I see people getting nostalgic.

I have gone through all of this in the past , still today why did I feel irritated ? I asked myself and seeked an answer. What has changed me ?

It was raining cats and dogs... I opened the windows to hear that amazing sound of rains thrashing the streets. I said to myself those amazing three words.. LET IT RAIN..

Monday, July 3, 2017


I really have mixed feelings when I hear the word good bye . It has an optimistic side that we might meet again in some way or the other . Maybe it will be planned or maybe just like that at some place at some phase of life . Normally it brings a smile while parting apart relishing the memories of the time spent together hoping to relive that back soon.
Sometimes an inert hole gulps the mind not knowing about the possibilities.
If you ask me I have a certain negative lookout when I hear the word good bye. I hold on to the bitter part of it. Parting apart from the ones who brought happiness always makes me uncomfortable. The fear of losing or last chance to say the things that you could never say.
Sometimes we plan so much. We memorize every thing we want to say , we plan things we want to do. But can we carry them out always as we planned ? There are so many uncertainties in life and I hate that the most. The haphazard thoughts come into mind about the uncertainties and the possibility of the situation that we might not meet again.
GOOD BYE is not for me. It throws me into an utter darkness. That is the reason ,  I , quite unconsciously never use that word. The ones I love ,  I love them for my life.

I know sometimes holding on can bring you pain and that's the reason that GOOD BYES are quite necessary.

Just never forget to tell the person that how much you care and love that person. Tell that we will meet again for sure.  

The post is linked to

NOTE : Its a final tribute to 3 word wednesday. Will miss you a lot . Just have the hope for your comeback. As I said good byes are never easy for me.

Saturday, June 4, 2016

Because its my Birthday Month : CHAPTER 2

My Childhood Real life Hero : That would be my father. He was the one I would search for when I was in trouble. Be it the primary school days when I would cry and wait for the session to be over or be it being a  savior from my angry mom. My all wishes were fulfilled by him and I would be his prince riding in the front space of his scooter feeling the safest person on Earth. He would take me all places , give me most of whatever I want. I was pampered by him so much and I could not even think a day without him.

Till I went to the college , he was the one taking me to all the tuition and all other places in his scooter. Some of my batch-mates would make fun of me for being still dependent on him and some would envy me. I knew that I could go without him but I cherished his presence and super protective treatment. I was somewhat dependent on him and I liked that feeling. 

All his life he had sacrificed a lot and given a lot to the family. Now he is 60 up and would retire this month. With time a lot of things have changed. He is not as strong as before. He asks me before taking decisions , relies on me and most of the times I carry out some simple tasks for him. Now that he depends on me a lot , I feel sometimes he is my child. I scold him on few occasions which he obeys like a small child . He would express happiness when I gift him something in the same way I used to in my childhood when he brought something for me. 

I miss that strong shoulder on which I would rest my head and leave every problem for him to sort out. I miss his strong decisions sometimes. But when I see him proud of me and I see that broad proud smile in his face when he introduces me to someone I feel may be I am not that efficient as he thinks but still for him maybe I am his hero now. Everyone needs a hero. He was and is my hero. Maybe I am his hero too.

Thursday, June 2, 2016

Because its my Birthday Month : CHAPTER 1

My biggest fear in my childhood :  Well that would be Lizard. I still get afraid when I see that mini crocodile and I am miles away.

I was afraid of my mom too. She would beat me black and blue even before I realized I did something wrong. 

Its difficult to tell what I dreaded most --- My mom or the lizard. Although now I scold my mom often and love has superimposed the fear completely.

I used to fear the stage also. I liked to act and wished to perform but I had a stage fear. So I avoided participating in any of the shows because I lacked confidence. I did not have faith on my memory and thought I would forget lines of whatever I do.

I had to face that fear once when it was made compulsory to deliver The Pledge in the assembly hall of my school after the morning prayers. It would be on rotational basis and each student a day would be given that responsibility. 

It was an embarrassing day for me when my chance came and I had screwed the whole thing up by forgetting almost every line of the pledge and the teachers from the backstage kept on quoting till the end. I was almost mentally tortured few weeks by some of the teachers and most of the students. I became popular actually by the name " The boy that forgot on stage ...". 

But then it did not affect me much. I had faced what I had to. I practiced in front of mirror and started participating in class room singing sessions and even small debates and quizzes. Later on in my college life I had been in to drama and also solo stage shows. 

I knew that at the most the bad that happens to you is embarrassment but nobody cared to remember the people who did it right. So nothing you are going to lose.

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