LET IT RAIN

What do you call that feeling when you are about to leave your house for an important work and it starts raining heavily. Say it . Irritating right ? All again you undress into homely wear and keep the assorted things you planned to take with you in their right places and all you can do is wait... Wait till it's dry again.

Same happens with me... With a feeling that I have been born with a cursed luck , I curse myself for planning for the job wrongly when literally it's just the nature to be blamed. I look through the windows to estimate the intensity of the rain and possibility of my going out and then finally lying back in despair. The work has to be postponed and it's a tough job to reschedule as other things get affected to.. and what if it rains again the next day..

It feels me with irritation and I start wishing that why it never rains when I had nothing to do.. It rains only when I have some work.

But then I feel how often do I watch the rains even when I was in home. So today I thought there was nothing better to do right at this moment. The streets filled with water , the trees looked greener, the sky changed it's vibrance. The small kids returning from their schools had no irritation like me.. They stamped on the water playfully , fully drenched and without caring about their wet bags and books busy kick spraying water on their fellowmates. They should be pissed off after so long hours of school but shockingly they were not. Then why is it me nagging without even being wet by a single drop. Why didn't I feel the same like those kids. What has changed me ?

I asked these questions to myself and seeked for answers. I see many people enjoying rain special dishes and pakoras.. I see them making plans even in this weather. I see people getting romantic , I see people getting nostalgic.

I have gone through all of this in the past , still today why did I feel irritated ? I asked myself and seeked an answer. What has changed me ?

It was raining cats and dogs... I opened the windows to hear that amazing sound of rains thrashing the streets. I said to myself those amazing three words.. LET IT RAIN..

GOOD BYES

I really have mixed feelings when I hear the word good bye . It has an optimistic side that we might meet again in some way or the other . Maybe it will be planned or maybe just like that at some place at some phase of life . Normally it brings a smile while parting apart relishing the memories of the time spent together hoping to relive that back soon.
Sometimes an inert hole gulps the mind not knowing about the possibilities.
If you ask me I have a certain negative lookout when I hear the word good bye. I hold on to the bitter part of it. Parting apart from the ones who brought happiness always makes me uncomfortable. The fear of losing or last chance to say the things that you could never say.
Sometimes we plan so much. We memorize every thing we want to say , we plan things we want to do. But can we carry them out always as we planned ? There are so many uncertainties in life and I hate that the most. The haphazard thoughts come into mind about the uncertainties and the possibility of the situation that we might not meet again.
GOOD BYE is not for me. It throws me into an utter darkness. That is the reason ,  I , quite unconsciously never use that word. The ones I love ,  I love them for my life.

I know sometimes holding on can bring you pain and that's the reason that GOOD BYES are quite necessary.

Just never forget to tell the person that how much you care and love that person. Tell that we will meet again for sure.  

The post is linked to
3 WORD WEDNESDAY

NOTE : Its a final tribute to 3 word wednesday. Will miss you a lot . Just have the hope for your comeback. As I said good byes are never easy for me.

Remembrance

Metro railway certainly has made the travelling fast but each station has its own stories. The gate opens, the electronic lady voice declares the name of the station , the writing of the name in the station itself in very old familiar font playbacks the memories of each one. I don't know how many people have ever thought of this or are connected with almost all stations in some way or the other. Certainly few are such which have a lot of memories bonded with the name itself.
On one such rainy day , I had been travelling in the metro almost late evening. I had to go for a training and stay in the north Kolkata for 2 days. The known facts about the metros and its repetitions make me more and more confident about this conveyance. For example people rushing out of the metro as soon as the gate opens and running towards the outward gate without even knowing actually why they are saving few minutes of their life when they actually don't know where they will end up. The people rushing in without even caring for the probability of lesser than 10 percent chance to sit and that too when they know they will arrive in the next 15 minutes. More to that they rush in without even caring for the people to get down at the first place as if each and every person is important only to themselves.

On that heavy rainy day people entering in their wet clothes and shoes easily told me how much it was raining , outside every station. It was not the same everywhere, so I wished it does not rain so much at my destination. Having said that , I also felt that the same wish had been done by so many people inside the metro , already drenched waiting to be drenched more. Its a difficult task for the almighty sometime.  Its not that I don't like rain but I feel it rains only when I am not prepared to enjoy it. Or maybe I am one of those who is unknowingly running , not ready to stop and feel. I don't know. Nobody told me that.

With the opening of the gate at every station and by reading the name I could sense silence inside me despite the busy vehicle and the people making fuss about that stupid rain although some joyous couples seemed to enjoy preety much. Why did my brain had to be so smart to play the slideshows of the memories automatically ?

Many happy go lucky people play games in the mobile phones and tablets and many shut off the noises with their headphones on but my favourite activity is to watch people and guess about their life. Kind of cheap maybe but yeah its true. I like observing and reading people. But that day I was more busy reading myself.

As the stations were crossing by and I was near to my destination I could feel my heart beat then. The greatest memories were connected to my destination. I was a frequent visitor of that station once upon a time and after so many months I was visiting it once again but the purpose was different now. I would not have chose to come if I had some choice. Its not that I did not like it anymore , but the memories make me numb , I can feel my pulse yet an inertness acts in me.

I reached finally. It was raining heavily outside. I was standing at the main gate , waiting for it to slow down a bit. I din't expect it to stop. My eyes were busy looking for the bus that goes to my training centre but it would not be honest if I tell that I did not look around in the footpaths or the close by shops to search someone who was the reason for all those memories. A part of me wanted to get a bus as soon as possible and another part wanted to step outside ,  stand in the forceful gust of wind and rain and get drenched with a hope that it washes away the pain  in the memories , it pacifies my heartbeat and it removes my inertness. A glimpse of the ' reason of all this '  would not cause any turbulence in me - that is all what I could wish.

The bus came and I was walking fast towards it. Just near the footsteps I felt that across the street I saw an umbrella and a familiar image of someone walking fast down the street. Just a glimpse , not very sure but strong enough to make me halt. The conductor waved his hand fast and wanted me to get in quickly. Ignorant of my life and busy in his own world I felt he did not have time for me to wait much. I could not see any more of what had stopped me. The umbrella just vanished in the rainy streets and running people. I got in the bus and conductor welcomed me with his irritated look as I have wasted his few seconds deciding to board the bus or not.

The bus moved on. I wish I could too.

This post is linked to 3 Word wednesday

Also linking it up with the theme of ABYSS by THEME THURSDAY

Honoured I am !!

The house would look so old from outside yet it was beautiful. It was one of the most ancient house in the colony. Some say that after the lady died , her husband did not leave that house to move to somewhere else. He loved his wife more than anyone could. Not only he but also their only son. The lady was a painter , a great artist and known for her kindness.

Leave without knocking

Did you ever think of visiting some friend or a stranger's house and just after looking at the house from outside you have felt that maybe ringing up the bell is not necessary. Maybe you are not sure about your dropping by. But did you ever do that??

Silence and the city

An absolute silence engulfs me
An absolute darkness everywhere

Sitting alone by the sea shore
and the setting sun leaves no light
All alone by the shore but no place to hide

Even the roars of the waves seems to be mute
All comes in the ear is a complete silence

No one to call , nowhere to go
All alone in the midst of the journey

Who says life is to short to live
Its just a matter of time
Time to crash apart in the rocks and
Get pulled back from where it came

Life goes on

Life is never stagnant... It goes on and on. The incidents happening around you may bring happiness or sorrow. You may be gloomy ar too excited but things dont run the same way all your life. You will face sucess and defeat in each small or big matters.. But life goes on....
We sometimes think that living with or without a person or a thing is impossible. But time and destiny proves it wrong sometimes. When things go well we dont think about destiny so much and when it gets wrong we show our forehead and say its destiny...

Life is full of surprises.. U never know what is in store for you..

You have lost nothing that was yours.. all you gained at some point of time has gone back to the place it belonged... U came empty handed so never be sad at heart and say u lost..

A special day

The alarm clock rang and it was 5 pm in the evening....Actually Raj didn't have the habit of sleeping in the afternoon but it was the reaction of the last night's awakeness...From a few months often Raj is noticed to be awake till late night and murmuring something to himself....

yup..Raj is mad.....................................mad in love...with a girl in his English tuition and he had been trying to propose that girl from a long time but have failed miserably...one thing or the other comes in between..But today he had made it a point that he wont come back like the other days..Today will be a special day...........................

Raj had practised a lot what to say and how to propose her love, Sukanya.. With several doubts in his mind like which dialogue will be better and all he started his journey towards the tuition which is 20 mins walking distance from his house....He reached the class entered inside...........Sukanya had not come yet....He waited fr her arrival....and waited long...
But after waiting really long he asked the teacher.." Maam , sorry to interrupt you but will you start taking the class without Sukanya...She has not arrived yet.."

Maam stared at Raj a bit, making him nervous ,as to whether maam came to know about his feelings ...and then she said.."No she is not coming...She wont attend further classes.."

"Why maam???"was the helpless and frightened question asked..as he thought Sukanya had come to know about her and changed her batch or something........

But the answer given by the teacher changed many things in Raj's life...

She said.."Sukanya had fled away with another boy...You may say eloped away..and they got married..."

The day was really a special one...Raj never forgot that...