Because its my Birthday Month : CHAPTER 2

My Childhood Real life Hero : That would be my father. He was the one I would search for when I was in trouble. Be it the primary school days when I would cry and wait for the session to be over or be it being a  savior from my angry mom. My all wishes were fulfilled by him and I would be his prince riding in the front space of his scooter feeling the safest person on Earth. He would take me all places , give me most of whatever I want. I was pampered by him so much and I could not even think a day without him.

Till I went to the college , he was the one taking me to all the tuition and all other places in his scooter. Some of my batch-mates would make fun of me for being still dependent on him and some would envy me. I knew that I could go without him but I cherished his presence and super protective treatment. I was somewhat dependent on him and I liked that feeling. 

All his life he had sacrificed a lot and given a lot to the family. Now he is 60 up and would retire this month. With time a lot of things have changed. He is not as strong as before. He asks me before taking decisions , relies on me and most of the times I carry out some simple tasks for him. Now that he depends on me a lot , I feel sometimes he is my child. I scold him on few occasions which he obeys like a small child . He would express happiness when I gift him something in the same way I used to in my childhood when he brought something for me. 

I miss that strong shoulder on which I would rest my head and leave every problem for him to sort out. I miss his strong decisions sometimes. But when I see him proud of me and I see that broad proud smile in his face when he introduces me to someone I feel may be I am not that efficient as he thinks but still for him maybe I am his hero now. Everyone needs a hero. He was and is my hero. Maybe I am his hero too.

Because its my Birthday Month : CHAPTER 1

My biggest fear in my childhood :  Well that would be Lizard. I still get afraid when I see that mini crocodile and I am miles away.

I was afraid of my mom too. She would beat me black and blue even before I realized I did something wrong. 

Its difficult to tell what I dreaded most --- My mom or the lizard. Although now I scold my mom often and love has superimposed the fear completely.

I used to fear the stage also. I liked to act and wished to perform but I had a stage fear. So I avoided participating in any of the shows because I lacked confidence. I did not have faith on my memory and thought I would forget lines of whatever I do.

I had to face that fear once when it was made compulsory to deliver The Pledge in the assembly hall of my school after the morning prayers. It would be on rotational basis and each student a day would be given that responsibility. 

It was an embarrassing day for me when my chance came and I had screwed the whole thing up by forgetting almost every line of the pledge and the teachers from the backstage kept on quoting till the end. I was almost mentally tortured few weeks by some of the teachers and most of the students. I became popular actually by the name " The boy that forgot on stage ...". 

But then it did not affect me much. I had faced what I had to. I practiced in front of mirror and started participating in class room singing sessions and even small debates and quizzes. Later on in my college life I had been in to drama and also solo stage shows. 

I knew that at the most the bad that happens to you is embarrassment but nobody cared to remember the people who did it right. So nothing you are going to lose.

Roy's Dream

Roy , a little kook in nature , would often dream of a house in a semi dense jungle . It would be placed on a big giant wheel. Roy in his dream would go near the wheel and out of curiosity would turn it little and the door of the house would creak open. He would enter the house , dark as hell and the door would get shut. He would wake up in a maniacal way gasping for breath.


photo courtesy :  Piya Singh

Finally one day he recalled that long ago once he had locked up his classmate in the chemistry laboratory by turning the door knob and then with a key. He did that because he envied his classmate for excelling in chemistry.
The attempt was not lethal but certainly Roy had killed his confidence.

This post is linked to Friday Fictioneers and Three Word Wednesday

Sea Side

Sitting by the rocks , I would only think about the energy the waves show by crashing onto the rocks , moving away broken apart and then getting reunited and acclaiming a force again to come to the shore with the almost equal strength. And this goes on. It keeps roaring and crashing but it never stops.
Then why do we people , the part of the same nature give up on life ? Why can't we fight back with the same strength till we live ? Why do we die long before our souls actually leave our body.

Sometimes we just have to let things go.

There is a saying that the sea never takes away anything. It gives back whatever it takes.

I am still waiting......

This post is linked to Friday Fictioneers & #FridayReflections



PHOTO PROMPT © Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

Remembrance

Metro railway certainly has made the travelling fast but each station has its own stories. The gate opens, the electronic lady voice declares the name of the station , the writing of the name in the station itself in very old familiar font playbacks the memories of each one. I don't know how many people have ever thought of this or are connected with almost all stations in some way or the other. Certainly few are such which have a lot of memories bonded with the name itself.
On one such rainy day , I had been travelling in the metro almost late evening. I had to go for a training and stay in the north Kolkata for 2 days. The known facts about the metros and its repetitions make me more and more confident about this conveyance. For example people rushing out of the metro as soon as the gate opens and running towards the outward gate without even knowing actually why they are saving few minutes of their life when they actually don't know where they will end up. The people rushing in without even caring for the probability of lesser than 10 percent chance to sit and that too when they know they will arrive in the next 15 minutes. More to that they rush in without even caring for the people to get down at the first place as if each and every person is important only to themselves.

On that heavy rainy day people entering in their wet clothes and shoes easily told me how much it was raining , outside every station. It was not the same everywhere, so I wished it does not rain so much at my destination. Having said that , I also felt that the same wish had been done by so many people inside the metro , already drenched waiting to be drenched more. Its a difficult task for the almighty sometime.  Its not that I don't like rain but I feel it rains only when I am not prepared to enjoy it. Or maybe I am one of those who is unknowingly running , not ready to stop and feel. I don't know. Nobody told me that.

With the opening of the gate at every station and by reading the name I could sense silence inside me despite the busy vehicle and the people making fuss about that stupid rain although some joyous couples seemed to enjoy preety much. Why did my brain had to be so smart to play the slideshows of the memories automatically ?

Many happy go lucky people play games in the mobile phones and tablets and many shut off the noises with their headphones on but my favourite activity is to watch people and guess about their life. Kind of cheap maybe but yeah its true. I like observing and reading people. But that day I was more busy reading myself.

As the stations were crossing by and I was near to my destination I could feel my heart beat then. The greatest memories were connected to my destination. I was a frequent visitor of that station once upon a time and after so many months I was visiting it once again but the purpose was different now. I would not have chose to come if I had some choice. Its not that I did not like it anymore , but the memories make me numb , I can feel my pulse yet an inertness acts in me.

I reached finally. It was raining heavily outside. I was standing at the main gate , waiting for it to slow down a bit. I din't expect it to stop. My eyes were busy looking for the bus that goes to my training centre but it would not be honest if I tell that I did not look around in the footpaths or the close by shops to search someone who was the reason for all those memories. A part of me wanted to get a bus as soon as possible and another part wanted to step outside ,  stand in the forceful gust of wind and rain and get drenched with a hope that it washes away the pain  in the memories , it pacifies my heartbeat and it removes my inertness. A glimpse of the ' reason of all this '  would not cause any turbulence in me - that is all what I could wish.

The bus came and I was walking fast towards it. Just near the footsteps I felt that across the street I saw an umbrella and a familiar image of someone walking fast down the street. Just a glimpse , not very sure but strong enough to make me halt. The conductor waved his hand fast and wanted me to get in quickly. Ignorant of my life and busy in his own world I felt he did not have time for me to wait much. I could not see any more of what had stopped me. The umbrella just vanished in the rainy streets and running people. I got in the bus and conductor welcomed me with his irritated look as I have wasted his few seconds deciding to board the bus or not.

The bus moved on. I wish I could too.

This post is linked to 3 Word wednesday

Also linking it up with the theme of ABYSS by THEME THURSDAY

Endless Tunnel

photo by - Caroline knopf

I often dream of being isolated on a lonely beach tearfully waiting for someone to take me home. I often feel I am stuck inside a dark tunnel waiting to see the light on the other end as I am running hard with unsteady feet to find the end of this journey.

I often feel that such a life is cursed when you have to work for the family without being able to see them or be with them.

Life is quite abrasive.

To live a luxurious life we sacrifice so much. To achieve our dreams sometimes we lose our peace and choose to be in isolation and then longing to be coming back to life.

This post is linked to

magpie tales
prompt 96
three word wednesday